A raging Dan Hodges had to be restrained by colleagues today as he penned his morning column which ranted and raved about a “blatant campaign” by “that photoshopping leftie” ColdWarSteve. Frothing at the mouth, Hodges told fellow ‘journalists’ that the Boris Johnson photo was obviously a Starmer-led left-wing plot to frame Boris and eventually fell into a deep sleep after he was given his injection.

The rambling piece appeared online this morning but was quickly taken down by editors who noticed Mr Hodges had wound down his rant by writing a homoerotic love letter to the Prime Minister.

“Dan loves his brief”, explained one Mail insider, “but sometimes he takes it a little too far. When he arrived at the Mail’s offices as a young journalist, he was probably a centrist. But we’ve given him so much money to write about Boris that he’s kind of, ahem, fallen in love.”

The article was taken down, but WE TOOK A SCREENSHOT.

Some Guardian journalists recently launched a campaign to save Dan Hodges and put him into rehab. One Guardianista, Saffie Wokington-Haverford, has been selling her homemade saffron and za’atar jam to raise money to rescue Hodges from the clutches of the Mail, claiming that he has been brainwashed and that, if he were to spend some time knitting jumpers with Owen Jones, then he’d clearly see the light.


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