Tory leadership hopeful Liz Truss came under fire today for arranging a photoshoot at the precise moment a Conservative MP was arrested.

Truss, who takes a photographer with her 24 hours a day, was accused by some in the Conservative Party of being “opportunist”, but she played it down saying “well, if you’re all going to get arrested for sexual assault, what other backdrop is there?”

Over the last month, approximately an estimated potential made-up number of 95% of male Conservative MPs have been questioned by police or arrested for sexual assault or drugs charges.

One MP, who cannot be named for legal reasons, like all of the other Conservative MPs, said:

I’ve been arrested five times now and each time the rozzers turn up, there’s Liz Truss with her photographer and her mobile wardrobe. I swear, she actually asked the police if they could question me for a bit longer so she could change into her blue trouser suit. I didn’t fight the Europeans to be treated like this! I fought in the war you know!

Another Tory MP who has been arrested on drugs charges after a raid at his home said that Truss turned up “in a tank” and complained about the lighting outside his home.

I don’t mind being arrested for drugs charges, after all, it comes with the territory. But when Liz Truss appears outside my home with a selfie ring and her own make-up artist, you have to question her intentions.

Boris Johnson even complained to the Foreign Office that Truss’s photographer was an unwelcome presence when he received his fine from the police, and a further unnamed Conservative MP who was arrested for dogging said that the lighting from the Foreign Secretary’s camera crew “scared off the totty” and completely ruined his evening in the woods.

We contacted Liz Truss’s office but we were told that she’s on a photoshoot in Rishi Sunak’s office today.


Get The "News" In Your Inbox

Be the first to know when something completely fake happens

We don't spam. We don't sell emails. We just make things up & send them to you.